Unicru Assessment Guide
The Unicru Assement Guide is a project intended to reverse engineer the Unicru psychological test given at the end of most online applications for many of America’s “big box” retailers such as Walmart, BestBuy, Walgreens, and CVS Pharmacies just to name a few. You may not know what I am reffering to offhand, but if you’ve ever applied for a major grocer and retailer in the last few years you will know about what I am talking about once you see it.
The company that owns Unicru is Kronos Incorporated and is a company that offers external human resources services. Basically the Unicru assessment is a required part of many online applications and it is designed with the intent to single out the “ideal corporate worker.” Unfortunately for us people who are normal–not to mention those who are the least bit different–this test has become an unfair entry barrier which discriminates against people who are otherwise hard workers for having “flaws” that would make them poor candidates for a “corporate environment.”
However, the biggest problem with the Unicru assement is the fact that the test doesn’t discriminate on accident and it is not a collateral effect. No, this test was designed with sheer sadism in mind. The test too could be seen as a invasion of one’s own personal life as many of the questions are about topics which have nothing to do with work such as:
“It is maddening when the court lets guilty criminals go free”
“You have no big regret about your past”
“You like to be alone”
The fact that ANY company could ever post a questionnaire of that sort and make passing it a requirement for the rest of your application to even be seen by a manager is absurd and dehumanizing.
Despite what Unicru claims on the page before the test is administered, many have discovered that there is a right and wrong answer to all the questions AND it’s always the same reguardless of what position you are applying for. Which is also completely opposite of what their marketing agency is claiming in the news and on the net.
That is where my guide comes in. The Unicru Assessment Guide is an answer key that I have compiled both from my own experience and through various sources I found on the net that allowed me to essentially sit down and reverse engineer the test until I got the desired results. Through my research I found out some interesting facts about just the kind of worker they are looking for and the answers to some of the questions may come as a surprise; however, once one understands the personality archetype they are seeking it is quite easy to to get your application placed in the “green” stack. This guide was made to ensure that one always makes a near perfect score every time. I you follow the guide you cannot lose, guarenteed.
As far as the achitypical personality Unicru is designed to seek, a user who goes by the name of “DranoK” on the DeadGod forums put it brilliantly, but less than eloquently: “This test does not describe common sense. It describes some sort of self-loathing wannabe extrovert who paints himself up in more makeup than the skankiest whore.” Although, I would like to elaborate on that note and make the observation that by looking at the correct answers their perfect candidate is not a free-thinking, independent, hard-working individual. The word “yes-man” is really too shallow of a term here. I think a more proper description would be someone with a slave mentality, someone who is totally naïve of other peoples possible negative intentions and sees the world through rose coloured glasses. Also they are someone who is willing to take abuse and not care about it. Then on the other hand they are extroverted, and have great confidence, and proud of everything they do. In many ways it’s a complete contradiction.
I created this guide so that the normal person can get a job simply because short of lying on this test it is impossible to do so and I feel the world needs to know about this untolerable act that is being committed by Corporate America to discriminate against common sense, morality, diginity, and everything normal. In these times were many Americans desperately need jobs this is just one more obsticle that is helping drive up the unemployment rate.
Unicru Assessment Guide 1.4